rmr, why is it such a crap shoot?

it seems to me that no matter what you think or what you plan to have happen at rmr, it never turns out... what i mean is, i can go and kill it as hard as i can and place in the top15 every week, or i can go and sit in and still place in the top 15.... yes this is a training race so i shouldn't get all that worked up about it, but i would still like to win one of these suckers this season.. our team is in check, we know who's got legs, we know who's doing what and we make it happen.. it seems like i just can't get a result that puts me in 1st.. i've followed every bit of advice and it still seems like i never get what i've been seeking..which, in case you missed it, is a win.. breaks are forming in a strange fashion, attacks are spastic.........arrrrgggg.......

anyway i worked my arse off tonight, still scored 12th....another thing that bothered me about tonight's race is that i didn't feel all that focused. guess that's just how it goes sometimes.

what's been getting me through: